


Jitne zakham aur judenge, Utna badhengi yeh shaakhein

by ellezaria (Qarnotis)



Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: Angst, Like lots of it, M/M, Missing Scene, i should not be writing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qarnotis/pseuds/ellezaria
Summary: What Kartik feels after he wakes up and what Aman feels after he had written down the statement dooming their relationship.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	Jitne zakham aur judenge, Utna badhengi yeh shaakhein

**Author's Note:**

> my take on what they felt immediately after the whole beating fiasco.  
> 

The throbbing pain drags Kartik into consciousness. He groans, clutching his aching arms. He is on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. He looks about the room he is in.

A solitary lamp is on in the corner, dimly illuminating the small room. A blanket slides off him as he sits up. His body protests at the movement. A low grunt escapes him.

Kartik searches around for the light switch, spotting it beside the bed. His arm aches as he reaches towards it. The harsh light stings his eyes as it floods the room.

After his eyes adjust he looks about the room. He notices a covered plate of food and a water bottle on the bedside table, along with his own bag. He glances around the room for a clock. The one on the far side of the room told him it was 1.14 in the morning. _How long was I out?_

He frowns. The last thing he remembers is “…none of your sexuality” before his body gave away and he blacked out. Someone must have brought him here.

He is still shirtless, the rainbow cape haphazard around his shoulders and body.

Getting up from the bed he grabs a t shirt from his bag. He briefly glances at the food right beside it. As if on cue, his stomach rumbles. But he decides to ignore it.

Kartik pulls his shirt over his body, and settles back on the bed. His thoughts float back to Aman. _Aman._ The painful expression on his face as he ran towards the stairs flashes in his mind. Aman couldn’t watch the beating anymore. 

A tear slid down Kartik’s cheek. _Mera Aman._

He must be in of the rooms in the house, all alone and worried. He knows Aman would have withdrawn emotionally, refusing to talk to anyone. Kartik wanted to go search for him, but doing that in the dead of the night in a relatively unfamiliar house seemed like a bad idea.

His stomach grumbled again. _Might as well eat. Khaali pet dimaag nahi chalega._

He ate a bit as he tried calling Aman’s phone.

_‘The number you’re trying to reach is switched off, please try again later’_

_Arre yaar_ , he groaned in frustration.

If Shankar or anyone else had done anything to Aman… then he would fight back. He would take a hundred more beatings before he let anything hurt Aman.

He would talk to Aman tomorrow. They would definitely figure out something together.

All he wanted was Aman, for him to be happy. Was that too much to ask?

* * *

Aman lay on his bed, unmoving, and numb from crying.

He had barely registered writing that statement that confirmed he would marry kusum. All he knew that his world was shattering, all he knew that he was writing the death warrant for his and Kartik’s relationship.

He couldn’t bear to look at Kartik passed out in the courtyard after that. So he hurried straight into his room. There alone, he utterly broke down.

He did not respond at all to his mother calling him for dinner at night. The only response she got was ‘chale jao, mujhe bhook nai hai.’ Eventually his mother gave up and went away. His appetite was absolutely lost.

Hours later, He lay staring at the ceiling, not bothering to wipe the drying tear tracks.

He was a coward when he wrote that statement. Now he would be married tomorrow—effectively fucking up both their lives.

Tears rushed back in full force.

He had ruined his chance at a life with Kartik. He could have stood between his father and Kartik, but instead he had run. He was a coward.

He didn’t stand up to his father and Kartik had paid the price because of that.

As much as he wanted to be in Kartik’s arms, he couldn’t. Being with Kartik meant seeing his anguished face—which he absolutely could not bring himself to do.

So, he decided, he would talk to Kartik in the morning. But until then he’ll allow himself to be a wreck.

He cries until sleep overtakes his exhausted mind. But even in sleep there is no peace when Kartik is not right beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out the [Behind the Screen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840997) of this fic where i talk about the process of writing it!  
> hope ya'll are doing okay<3<3


End file.
